Over the years I've received something along the lines of a gazillion letters from folks asking about various aspects of the site. Three out of four of them are trying to scam me out of free passwords, but that's a different topic.

Anyway, what follows are examples of a couple of the dozens of letters I've gotten that deal with one of our favorite topics. I've also included my replies, just for the sake of completism. If you don't happen to find the thought of a luscious pair of nipples appetizing to the point of ravenous hunger, this Rambling may not be for you, unless, of course, you just can't live without my wit and wisdom.

Basically, they start something like this:

Dearest Matt, Webmaster Extraordinaire, King of Tit Torture, and Holy Example of All That is Good and Right in the World,

Of all the wonderful and life improving things you and your incredible writers write about in your incredible site, my husband and I are most intrigued by the nipple biting. My husband loves to bite my nipples while we make love, and I love for him to bite them. I come like nobody's business when he bites, especially when he times the really hard bites right when I'm on the edge of my orgasm. Just the thought of feeling him take a thick fold of my areola between his teeth, just below my nipple, and grinding just hard enough to make me buck and scream beneath his manly grinding hips makes my juices run.

His best climaxes are always while he's sucking and biting on my breasts and nipples, too. The way he almost loses control, sucking as much of my pert breast between his full wet lips into his mouth and letting his tongue and teeth abuse my hot, hard, sweet nipple as he groans and shoots passion juice deep into my love canal, is just incredible. If it were possible for a guy to orgasm without having his love shaft touched, letting him chew on my cherry nipples would do it.

Neither of us have the guts to let him try biting my love buds hard enough to draw blood, though. I'm sure that he fantasizes about it, and would love it if I screamed, "Oh, God, yes! Eat me, beloved!" just as I came. I've always fantasized about doing exactly that, feeling his teeth as they closed, the sudden sweet pain stabbing through my abused nipple and coursing through my full breast and trim belly all the way through my trimmed pubic curls and across my shaved baby-soft nether lips down into the sweet core of my love box, looking through my ecstasy-clouded eyes into his and seeing the look of unbridled ardor on his face as his wildest dream came to life...

Unfortunately, since we'd be too embarrassed to have to explain to a plastic surgeon why I might need reconstructive breast surgery, we draw the line at the occasional sweet bruise, love bite or teeth mark.

The reason for this letter, Mr. Nicholson, sir, is that you're always talking about the "Most Edible Tits," and writing about biting and eating all those lovely breasts you show us each month. We would like to know if you have ever drawn blood or done any of the things you talk about with your teeth. If so, could you please elaborate? Spare no detail, we're all eyes. And if you haven't actually tasted of some lovely woman's succulent nipple meat, would you if you could?

Love and Kisses, Your Devoted Fan Forever and Her Equally Idolizing Husband

To which I pretty much say...

Dear Devoted and Husband,

Sorry for the delay. I was busy getting the publication rights to your letter. I expect sales somewhere in the triple digits. A Waiver of Financial Recompense is attached. If you would also sign the attached contract guaranteeing at least one similar letter a month, I will begin the process of finalizing the land purchase in New Zealand and closing the website.

Anyway, to answer your question, no, I haven't ever actually drawn blood. At least not on purpose. Like you and your husband, there are many times I'd have liked to, and I'm sure there will be many more, but since all the women I've ever known prefer that their nipples remain significantly attached... well, there you are.

Besides, while many of us fantasize about being able to indulge in at least one opportunity to actually partake of the raspberry nipples that we find so appetizing, I suspect that the reality of having your pert fruity nipples and sweet gummy aureoles ground into crimson love jelly between your husband's sparkling molars would likely result in something less than cosmically orgasmic, at least for you. Your Equally Idolizing Husband might still get off, but, as you say, I think your plastic surgeon might be required by law to notify the authorities.

Fantasies are all part of the big picture. Remember, though, that some of them lose their appeal when they're actually put to the test.

Please, don't let that stop you from writing about them, preferably by the monthly deadline of the 1st as noted in paragraph four. Photographs would be appreciated. Oh, and make sure to initial the section that holds me harmless for any damages that may occur during research.

All the best,
~Matt Nicholson~

Then there's the...

mattt...

u r the man!!!!!!! i eat nipples three times a day...... brekfast lunch and diner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lik em frozin too!!! the harder the better i say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they really go good with whiped creem and beer!!!! maybee we can get together some day with one of yur models!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if yo give me a free munth, ill pay for the beer and whippd creem even!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

niple eater man

Now, my reply to the NEMs of the world vary depending on whether or not I can verify membership. If so, my letter might look something like this (misspellings deliberate for communication's sake)...

Niple Eater Man,

Thanks, a bunch for the thoughtful letter. I do hope you include some vegetables in your diet. The last time I checked, beer, whiped creem, and nipples were not your three basic food groups, though I've heard several arguments about beer being added soon.

Anyway, of the models I have that have yet to join me for brekfast, lunch, or diner, all of them have either retired or are out on extended assignment. I really don't expect any of them to return in time for us to get together before the punishment phase of your trial. Sorry. Also, I really doubt Darker Pleasures will still be around after your "20 to life" sentence is served, so you might think about canceling your subscription soon. Sorry about that free month.

By the way, I do agree with the frozin part. The harder the better. Liquid nitrogen is not an option, though.

Good luck with your new attorney,
~Matt~

If Niple Biter's letter seemed to come from out of the blue, and I couldn't find a membership, my reply would probably look more like this...

Mr. Man,

Since I can't find your membership through any search known to modern technology, state and federal laws require that I assume you're probably around eleven or twelve, thirteen tops.

Now, Mr. Man, I'll go out on a limb here and guess you've never seen a real bare naked lady in your life besides your mom, and that she breast fed you only long enough to decide you were a social liability. That means the closest thing you've had to what you were talking about is Similac and Playtex.

Unlike anime boobies, real ladies usually prefer that we not bite their bodies without permission. Doing it three times a day, with different women, is called a 'serial crime' and will land you in juvenile detention until you can transfer to a big boy prison to serve out the rest of your concurrent life sentences. That means it is bad.

Beer tastes like sewer water and pee. You should stay away from it for the rest of your life. If you have friends that buy it for you in order to bribe you into printing out pictures of bare naked ladies for them, you need to find friends that don't grow beards yet. Also, remember the phrase, "Stranger, Danger!"

Anyway, milk is much better for you, but only from plastic containers. Mix it with chocolate if you like. Finally, you might ask your mom what she meant when she told you you could have milk and cookies before bed time. I doubt she meant you could surf the net for them.

Come back in about eight years and we'll talk about that whipped cream. For now, turn off the computer and go shoot some hoops. Watch out for that bright stuff. It's called "The Sun."

Best of luck,
Mr. Webmaster

I always love getting these...

Dear Matt,

I fantasize every day about making passionate love to you while you treat me like your sex slave and do whatever you want to my tits. Can I please have your love child? I could bottle feed if you want to abuse my nipples with your teeth to the point they don't work.

Love, An Admirer

Typically, I try to remain as professional as possible when dealing with these types, as they could well be stalkers. As such, here was my last reply to one...

Dear Admirer,

Please tell me that you're really Catherine Zeta-Jones and you're looking for a man younger than Mike that can really treat you right!

Anxiously,
~Matt Nicholson~

OK, if I'm going to fantasize, I may as well go big, huh. I've done the math. The chances are far better than winning the mega-lottery. Have you seen Michael Douglas lately?

Oh, were you looking for an honest answer? "Have ya? Could ya? Would ya?" Only my hairdresser knows for sure.

I've got a reputation to consider.

Hi, folks. It’s me, the “self-styled expert on tit torture,” here. "Where’d he come up with that?" you might ask. Never give me an opening.

Some time ago, I found a backwoods web page entitled, “Electrical breast play,” while I was doing my homework for the Breast Punishment Primer’s section on electrical tit torture. I was a little surprised to find that I’d been quoted at the beginning of the page. My Primer is often quoted without my knowledge, which is usually flattering, but this time the context wasn’t what I was used to. Of course, being called an idiot didn’t really set well, either.

If you’re interested, you can find the page below. (You’ll have to replace the dots with real dots – I wasn’t about to give this guy another link that he could use to manipulate the web rankings.)

http://wwwdotgeniebustersdotorg/915/electrotorturedothtml

Anyway, thanks to Google’s confusing insanity for figuring out what sites get the lucky nod of being in the top ten, this insightful gem actually made the top slot for the term “tit torture” in the last couple of weeks, while yours truly was banished to limbo. That’s happened before. Google’s just weird that way. We’ll be back, I’m sure.

When Geniebuster was stuck in backwoodsdom, I didn’t figure his comments were worth wasting my time on. At the time, most everyone found my Primer long before they found his…entertaining…opinions. With the latest Google idiocy, however, I figured I’d best rebut – if not for my sake, then for the sake of everyone with breasts and nipples that might have a hankering for some fun with electricity.

For starters, I’ll quote what caught my attention. The quote within the quote is from my Primer. The rest is all his.

“One of the ignorant clichés people keep repeating mindlessly is "never use electricity above the waist." To take a recent example, here is what a self-styled expert on tit torture says:

‘I would hope that we've covered the extreme risk that you're dealing with if you use anything remotely resembling household current. Many BDSM clubs won't even allow electrical play of any kind above the waist, battery or no. Make sure you know what you're doing. Make sure you use a low voltage, low amperage device, and make sure that both your wires stay on one breast or the other. I repeat, NEVER do anything that allows current to travel from one side of the chest to the other. NEVER, NEVER EVER! Get it?!’

I D I O T !!!

This is nonsense. There is no insulator separating the upper body from the lower body. Your body is full of salt water, and no part is insulated from any other part. Once electricity gets into your body, it can go anywhere. Electrodes on your nipples are no more dangerous than electrodes on your fingers or toes or anywhere else. No, doing one breast at a time doesn't make any difference. Putting two electrodes on the left breast is exactly as dangerous as putting one electrode on each breast.”

He goes on to explain in even more detail why I’m an idiot. He cites the fact that this kind of torture has been used routinely on thousands of prisoners and that cops don’t follow any rules when they’re torturing women. Heck, I’ll even quote him.

“Let's apply a little common sense to this subject. Electrical torture is used routinely in hundreds of police stations all over the world. It happens to thousands of prisoners, all the time. When the cops are torturing a woman, you can bet they don't follow any rules about staying below the waist. Breasts are perfect for torture. Nor do they follow any rules about only doing one breast at a time. The prisoners don't die, even though the cops use much higher voltage than anybody would use in an S/M scene. In all the reports I have read (Amnesty International, etc.) I have never seen any reference to prisoners dying from shocks. One of the "benefits" of electricity, from the cops' point of view, is that it's relatively harmless. They can torture prisoners for a long time - days or even weeks - without killing them.”

He continues…

“Some of the prisoners who are tortured with electricity probably die. When you torture hundreds of prisoners, with no limits, sooner or later somebody is going to have a heart attack. It may not happen very often, but I'm sure it happens. That's why some jails have doctors advising the cops on how far they can go. The point is, with most people you can go very far without killing them. The exception would be somebody who has a pre-existing heart problem.

The fact that you are tempting death is part of the excitement of it.

I'm not into the "safe and sane" bullshit that you get in politically correct S/M scenes.

However, you aren't tempting death very much.

When prisons execute prisoners by electrocution, the prisoner does not usually die instantly, even though he is in an electric chair that is designed to kill him. Killing somebody with electricity is not easy. It's a messy operation that usually takes some time.

I have been using electrodes on nipples - both nipples, with the current running across the chest - for more than 20 years. I have done it more than a thousand times. Nobody has died.”

OK, I don’t know about you, but I really wouldn’t feel comfortable citing real torture as justification for saying that using the nipples as battery posts is such a swoof idea. I mean, how many of those assuredly reputable law enforcement establishments kept records documenting the number of women that died because their tits were French fried versus the number who just had their nipples burned off, versus the ones that enjoyed it. My guess is…none. The parts about "not tempting death very much," and “some of the prisoners tortured with electricity probably die" aren't really confidence-builders, either.

And, maybe it’s just me, but would you really want to bet the farm on some guy that says he’s “not into the ‘safe and sane’ bullshit,” or on his rather fortunate record (which I find suspect)?

Call me silly, but when I wrote the Primer – and the Wikipedia article on tit torture – I actually did real research. Shame on me. I found any number of documented medical case studies of people becoming really dead crispy critters after they’d hooked their genitals up on one end and their nipple, or nipples, up on the other. Granted, given my limited access to certain medical references, I only found one reference of a nipple to nipple electricity fatality, and it was a guy, but that’s one more than our friend at Geniebusters cited. Oh, and if you’re interested, you can find that reference documented here.

If you’re still inclined to risk your partner’s ticker and lovely tits – or your own – based on our new friend’s advise, I’d also suggest you spend more time reading through the rest of his stuff. If you’re anti-Semitic, you’ll probably have a lot of fun. If you think 9-11 was a hoax, here you go. I may not like our adminsitration, or trust it further than I could throw it, but...

Anyway, when you’re completely done, if you can still say you trust this anonymous soothsayer over me and the tons of other folks that tend to agree with me – including the medical professionals – I can only wish you the best of luck. I’d ask you to send me pictures, but I doubt the police’ll release the crime scene photos.

Now, wasn’t I much nicer to him than he was to me?

Writer's Note: Since I posted this blog, we've decided to modifiy things a bit. With all the great stuff available from our affiliates and from other sources, and considering that I do still have some time to kill now and then, we're still going to be adding stuff after all. We aren't going to publish on a "clockwork" schedule like we use to, but I'm gonna be slapping up new breast bondage and tit torture catch as catch can. My guess is that it'll probably be scattered out every few days or couple of weeks or so...pretty much the way people have been asking me to do for awhile now. Go figure. Anyway, I thought I'd better clarify that before folks got confused. Now, go and do. ~M~

It's been a while, and a lot has happened with Darker Pleasures in the interim. Where to start? Well, the biggest news is that we've changed format. Because of a number of things, we've gone from publishing a monthly e-zine about erotic breast bondage and tit torture to uploading our entire archives and switching to a "what you see is what you get," archive, format.

Every picture we've taken - every needled nipple, whipped-lashed breast, and bound tit - is now there for viewing. Every story, from breast-biting vampire tales; to cruel tit-tortured kidnap victims; to happy-go-luck couples experimenting with breasts as dessert; to Master and slave tales of brutal breast torture, to most every breast-oriented story idea you can think of, is there to read. Every piece of art, every article, every survey is there.

All of it.

Our plan is to slowly upgrade older photo content while we periodically add things here and there, such as upgraded article, usenet stories, and new stories by yours truly. We may eventually go back to monthly publication, once my ulcer goes away and I have a shot at leading a regular life for awhile. But in the mean time, we've definitely left Darker Pleasures so that lovers of fine breast and nipple torture and bondage get their money's worth.

For those of you that have happened on this blog from someplace out in the Internet ether, I'm Matt Nicholson, and I'm an adult website publisher.

"Hi, Matt!"

Formally called, "Darker Pleasures - Quality BDSM Erotica Dedicated to the Bondage and Torment of Breasts and Nipples," my site does just that. But, rather than tell you all about it, how about I just give you a rundown of the tour, let you go take a look, and figure it out for yourself?

Our Home Page, or index, is known by the search engine title: "Tit Torture, Breast Bondage, Nipple Torture Pictures & More." Search engines won't put your site anywhere near the front if you don't title your pages that way, you see, no matter how relevent they are to what you're looking for. Such is the way of the beast.

With that in mind, the rest of our tour pages are affectionately titled"

"Erotic to Extreme Nipple and Breast Torture and Tit Bondage Pictures,"
"Breast BDSM Stories, Tit Bondage Stories and Fetish Stories,"
"BDSM Video Clips, Tit Torture and Breast Bondage Resources,"
"From Basic Breasts to Tattered Tits," and
"Join Darker Pleasures for Exclusive Breast Bondage and Tit Torture!"

You get the idea.

But, there's really a lot more in our public area, and while the whole thing is admittedly set up to convince you that your life won't be worth living if you don't join, we actually do give the public quite a bit of free stuff that can be fun, entertaining, and even useful. The bulk of that stuff can be found through the "ABC's of Tit Torture and Breast Bondage" page, an index of sorts. From there you can get to Matt's critically acclaimed "Breast Punishment Primer." Even though it's full of really entertaining - and even erotic - writing, it's actually been hailed as the most comprehensive guide to breast bondage and tit torture that's been published by all sorts of BDSM groups around the world. I wasn't the one that said that, folks, but I'm really proud that it's being said.

In addition to my little pride and joy, the public can read several other entertaining and possibly educational pieces, such as:

"Toys for Tits," a historical retrospective about breast punishment from the creation, through the Spanish Inquisition and the Crusades, through the Marquis deSade, and up until now. Like my Primer, I don't think you'll find a more thorough piece on the topic of tit torture through the ages anywhere on the net, and you danged sure won't find one that's more fun.

"Tit Trivia 101," the Trivial Pursuit of breast trivia, with all sorts of little-known tit bits of information that will prove your vast knowledge at all the best parties.

"The Breast BDSM Purity Tests," a couple of fun tests for you to take that'll give you an idea just where you stand in the heirarchy of tit torture purity. The first is for those of you that want to dish it out, the second for those of you that like to take it.

"The Dummies Guide to Tit Torture Photography," a short guide for those folks that might want to create their own breast-battering, nipple-rending, tit-tormenting portfolios.

"Darker Pleasures Desserts," my personal favorite, with "recipes" that cater to both the dreamer and the realist in everyone. On one hand, they play with the notion that lots of people fantasize about more than whipped cream, hot chocolate, or honey, and about more than just licking it off. On the other hand, I give you a few options that might translate to some real fun in the bedroom - or kitchen - that don't result in hospital bills.

The really neat thing about all these is that the original versions, located quite deliberately inside the members area, are illustrated with photos and art. Along with about 20,000 pictures, hundreds of stories, and tons of art and other stuff, they're proof positive we take breast bondage and tit torture very seriously.

About the only think I haven't taken seriously lately is this blog, but you can bank on that changing, too. So hang tight. Darker Pleasures may be different, but different is not a bad thing.

Especially for us.

My mind keeps returning to the theme from M.A.S.H. – “Suicide is Painless.”

If you happened to bookmark this blog back when I suggested you bookmark it (subscribers, that would be you), you’re here to find out what the hell has happened to Darker Pleasures. Here it is, in a nutshell:

A few weeks ago, our host – DWHS Web Hosting – lost a router, resulting in a large percentage of it’s sites being offline. In their zeal to get everything up and running ASAP, they did not install a firewall properly. Saturday, they were met with as very pervasive attack, that disabled their entire system. Darker Pleasures, and many others, was down for a half day. When they got us back up, the e-mail client was still disabled.

They have since been hit with a power blackout, and are trying to get the system back up under generator power, while still trying to repair the earlier damage. They’re working in temperatures of over 120 degrees. Unfortunately, Darker Pleasures isn’t.

Please be patient. Our biggest nightmare is that we’ll see massive bailing as folks try to visit the site and find it down. I know I’d bail under those conditions unless I got notice like this.

Given the number of blog readers… Well, you see my concern.

clicks “send” while whistling the theme from M.A.S.H.

July Will Take Your Mind Off Things

It’s Saturday, July 15, 2006 at 1:06 p.m. Central Daylight time.  War is breaking out all over the world.  Three countries with nuclear weapons are either at war or on the brink.  Two others that are trying to get nuclear weapons are in the thick of it all.

And Congress is worried about me?

I’ll never get it.

Anyway, to take your mind off of the world, I’m happy to say that July’s up and running.  No small feat this month, let me tell you.  I was literally prepping five minutes ago.   Anyway, we’re good now.  

As for how good, go check out…

The Prize – Marilyn Harris’ story about a contest winning gone bad.  With pictures of the ample-titted newcomer, Tanja, you can’t go wrong.

Divide and Conquer – Elizabeth Faraday finishes of the story of split personalities warring with each other while their… her… breasts and nipples are battered this month.  Thorin’s pictures, supplied by Pain Toy,  are simply incredible.

Cover Version – Lee Ash’s text story about a popular girl rock band and the price they pay for popularity with their rock star tits.

Muk Ty – I step back up to the plate with this high fantasy adventure featuring cannibals, Amazons, and the inevitable pairing of the two.

Vampire Bondage – A usenet story, spiced up a bit by yours truly, with a classic vampire, a classic victime, and a classic twist on the boring neck-biting thing.

DP Art – This months painted pieced of tit torture and breast bondage (and one ass shot that I just couldn’t resist) are inspired by Painfiles.  Like the pieces inspired by Hogtied and Brutalmaster before them, this art is amazing.

And then we have my usual color commentary in “Can I Have Those With Whipped Cream,” our surveys, cover and teaser art, and all that stuff.

Now, before I tell you to go and do, I want you to do one other thing for me.  Go see Superman Returns.  It’s awesome.

Later, all.

June is Hot

Since no one’s been beating my doors down for political commentary or other bone-jarring witticisms, I had time to write a story this month. But more on that later.

First up, is Jude Mason’s Come-Uppance, featuring eleven galleries of electrifying tit torture pictures of Krista in her last shoot for anybody.

Next is Elizabeth Faraday’s Divide and Conquer – Part 2, which continues the story that uses three more galleries of Thorin and her seriously abuses tits and nipples as generously provided by Pain Toy.

Half our art is inspired by the very brutal Brutal Master (thus the name, I’d expect), with pencil sketches that’ll curl your socks.  The other half is inspired by wonderful shots from our files.  

Tantalizing tit tort text tales come from Jude, who does double-duty with Readjustment Training; Bonnie Dee and her sequel to Carnival Girl – Private Party; and your’s truly with Surprise!  (I told you there’d be more on that later.)

Plus, we have all the other usual plusses.

Welp, that’s about it.  If anyone decided they want me to wax philosophical about anything, drop me a line.  I’d be tickled to put this blog to some more good use.

Yes, it’s been a whole month since I’ve posted anything.  Not like anyone seemed to notice, but what the heck.  As busy as things have been, it’s probably good.  I’m loaded with all sorts of opinions, particularly with the President’s daily goings on, so if anyone’s interested, just holler.

In the mean time, May’s live.  In it you’ll find…

Coco McCloud’s Paying Her Dues, featuring Katariina (last seen in Lee Ash’s Honey).

The first part of the three-parter, Divide and Conquer, featuring Thorin (donated from the good folks at Pain Toy).

Jude Mason’s, Toy.

Theresa Joseph’s, Dear Diary.

Matt Nicholson’s (that’s me) article, Tit Trivia 101.

DP art featuring pencil sketches inspired by images from the website Hogtied.

And the other usual stuff.

That’s it in a nutshell.  If you ever get the inkling to goad me into writing something full of my usual wit and wisdom about politics, entertainment, or… heaven forbid… breast bondage and tit torture, feel free to give me a buzz.